The Drunk Scotsman

Well a Scotsman clad in kilt

Left a bar one evening fair

And one could tell by how he walked

That he'd drunk more than his share

He fumbled 'round until he could

No longer keep his feet

Then he stumbled off into the grass

To sleep beside the street

About that time two young and

Lovely girls just happend by

And one says to the other

with a twinkle in her eye

"See yon sleeping Scotsman

So strong and handsome built

I wonder if it's true what

They don't wear beneath the kilt"

They crept up on that sleeping

Scotsman quiet as could be

Lifted up his kilt about

An inch so they could see

And there, behold, for them to view,

Beneath his Scottish skirt

Was nothing more than God had graced

Him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment,

Then one said "we must be gone

Let's leave a present for our friend,

Before we move along"

As a gift they left a blue

silk ribbon, tied into a bow

Around the bonnie star,

the Scots kilt did lift and show

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call

And stumbled towards a tree

Behind a bush, he lift his kilt

And gawks at what he sees

And in a startled voice he says

To what's before his eyes.

"O lad I don't know where you've been

But I see you won first prize"