The Bricklayer's Lament

Dear sir I write this note to you

To tell you of my plight

For at the time of writing it,

I am not a pretty sight

Me body is all black and blue,

Me face a deadly gray

And I write this note to say

Why I am not at work today

While working on the fourteenth floor,

Some bricks I had to clear

But tossing them down from such a height

Was not a good idea

The foreman wasn't very pleased,

He is an awkward sod

He said I'd have to cart em

Down the ladder in me hod

Well clearing all these bricks by hand

It seemed so very slow

So I hoisted up a barrel

And secured a rope below

But in my haste to do the job,

I was too blind to see

That a barrel full of building bricks

Was heavier than me

And so when I untied the rope,

The barrel fell like lead

And clinging tightly to the rope,

I started up instead

I shot up like a rocket

And to my dismay I found

that halfway up I met the bloody

Barrel coming down

Now the barrel broke me shoulder

As to the ground it sped

And when I reached the top

I banged the pulley with my head

But I clung on tightly, numb with shock

From this almighty blow

While the barrel spilled out half its bricks,

Some fourteen floors below

Now when these bricks had fallen

From the barrel to the floor

I then outweighed the barrel

And I started down once more

Still clinging tightly to the rope,

Me body wracked with pain

And halfway down I met

The bloody barrel once again

The force of this collision

Halfway down the office block

Caused multiple abrasions

And a nasty case of shock

But I clung on tightly to the rope

As I fell towards the ground

And I landed on the broken bricks

The barrel 'd scattered 'round

As I lay there moaning on the floor,

I thought I'd passed the worst

But the barrel hit the pulley wheel

And then the bottom burst

A shower of bricks rained down on me,

I didn't have a hope

As I lay there bleeding on the ground

I let go the bloody rope

The barrel now being heavier,

It started down once more

It landed right across me

As I lay there on the floor

It broke three ribs and my left arm,

And I can only say

I hope you'll understand

Why I am not at work today